Guilt

I can't even begin to describe the guilt I have after eating. It's really more than unpleasing, discomforting, unsettling. I ate one perogy, one celery (with some homemade dressing - fat free everything) and one slice of bread with tzikiki sauce (low in fat kind). Oh yes, and a creamsicle because it is also lower in calories. I hope my boyfriend doesn't have dinner with me or forgets again, but I think I've eaten all that I want. Who knows.. maybe after swimming I'll be hungrier.

After I ate those things, I was distraught over the fact that I didn't really NEED to eat them, but it was more of a want. I don't like that feeling. I want to be needed... and probably need to be wanted. I guess that's why I can't quite get out of this vicious cycle. I feel like crying now. I don't know what to do. I also had a few shreds of cheese. Now, my tummy hurts and I feel like shit. I really didn't have to eat those things. I could have left them, but alas, I'm not so smart.